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I feel that my face is hot … and so on.
I went back to the Kingdom, and leaving the room, looking down on Edgar’s back, I thought why I said the words like the proposal earlier.
“It seems so completely … …!”
And, it is deadly to shake my heart – if
It became it
(
…
)
Even though I feel that I do not care.
Rather, I want it.
I and Edgar … ….
But the feeling is nothing in love.
However.
“Because Edgar resembles his older brother … ….”
Because the dead brother and Edgar ‘s back are all alike.
I wonder if I do not want you to die like my older brother … ….
***
I have an older brother.
He was a wonderful older brother.
His older brother was chosen as an unusual Knight chief young because of his ability, talent and charisma.
My older brother was longing for me who was aiming for a knight like his older brother, and was proud of him.
However, my older brother was crushed.
Because it is too competitive.
Because it has too much ability.
***
My brother never came back to my house since he became the chief of the knight.
Even if I return, I will be fighting again the next day.
Every day like that.
But that was unavoidable.
In the Kingdom of St. Maria, the four great powers, skirmishes with neighboring powers, and small countries, will definitely not go away.
One week ago, I heard that my brother, who was unusually a week-long vacation.
“My older brother is driving too fast, how is it a little rest?”
I was still in the position of an apprenticehip as a knight at the time, I did not know much about war, I heard such a foolish thing. It’s embarrassing.
“Even so … … Because I’m the chief of the knight”
And the older brother who makes a gentle smile.
“You must not fight, to protect everyone”
“……Brother”
At that time I was a wonderful person, I thought foolishly that I am such a younger sister, I am such a happy person.
And in the next war.
–brother is
Scrap
(
· · ·
)
It came back as it became.
***
“… …. ぁ ぅ …… ぇ … ….”
“Brother……”
The older brother who came back from the battlefield lost his right arm and right leg, and had an abnormality in his spirit.
What did you think when you saw your older brother?
It is a sense of loss, sadness and anger – loneliness.
I feel a solid feeling that my older brother is no longer there.
I wish I could stop my brother more quickly … ….
My brother died last year due to scratches.
I can not see that gentle smile again.
Work only to make the hero work, break it.
Such a country should just perish.
My brother was not a person who could be crushed in such a way … ….
On the contrary, I realized that something is starting to bud to my heart.
that is
Sense of guilt
(
…
)
.
– You know. It is understanding.
No matter what I say, my older brother went to the battlefield and such an ending would have been waiting. There was nothing I could do. It is inevitable that such a tragedy has happened.
– But, if I had my brother stopped.
Such a black feeling eats me every night.
When you close your eyes you remember your brother’s face.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry……”
In my dreams I will continue to apologize.
My brother keeps staring at me like that.
Even very cold eyes.
It is a long and painful time like a bitter hardship of hell.
That was proof of my sin.
***
And I met a man named Edgar.
To his guy, who looks exactly like his elder, carries everything on his back.
– It was obvious that I could not leave such a man in front of me.
If this feeling of mine is a beautiful thing like love, proud things.
I just wish I had thought of a man named Edgar like a maiden.
There is only one thought that I hold to Edgar.
– A foolish idea that if I devote all of this to this man, I will be released from this sin.
…… I, Edgar my sin
Use
(
· · ·
)
It was trying to liquidate by doing.
“……Ahh……”
The back of my chest is distorted with a pinch.
– How wonderful … …! It is a shallow and ugly woman anywhere …!
It is never said that such a thing is said to Edgar who is a benefactor of life.
I want you to be sacrificed in order to clear my sins, I want you to be on your side, I want you to be a companion … to say such things lightly.
“Damn, shit, damn ……”
– What is blue roses.
– What is the leader of the knight.
I am the only woman who will be danced by sin.
Even a benefactor of life, a woman who uses it for self-satisfaction, to clear up sin.
– What, I want to carry your sins.
– What you want to share your suffering.
Thanks to that, there is no way I could get involved in my self-satisfaction.
“…… ugh, ugh …… ぁ ぁ ……”
My throat falls from my throat.
It was painful.
I do not know where to hit my thought.
I regretted.
I am not growing at all.
And then.
In case
Also my sin increased
(
·····
)
.
“… … Edoga …”
But among myself, it was mushy
desire
(
· · ·
)
It is just expanding.
Once you’ve hoped, that imagination will not stop.
I want to heal that man who is stepping into the path of Shura.
I want to chase that spirit right now, hold me tenderly and warm that heart.
I want to give it up to my expectation, I want to pour out more love to that man.
I want the right to love. The right to love that man. I only want for the rest of my life, so I want the right to give all this body and mind to that man.
– To liquidate my sin.
I could not do it to my older brother.
So at the least, how much can I be saved if I can do it to Edgar …?
“No, no, no …. Why do I think about all this …”
Tears and heart collapsing with words as words.
– On this day, I cried for the first time in a while.
With this feeling to a man named Edgar swelling in the chest, and like that, a man named Edgar
look
(
· · ·
)
I hate myself being saved.
I cried for the first time since that older brother died.
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